Dad

To be honest, saying the word 'Dad' or 'Ayah' isnt something that I'm comfortable to say. It feels abit awkward whenever I say it. I was raised by my mom and my siblings. I lost my father when I was 2 years old. So basically, I dont say the word 'Ayah' or 'Dad' at all. Nope. I dont even know or remember how my dad looks like. We do have 3 picture of him. Yes. Only 3

As far as I know, my dad is not picture person. He doesnt like people's taking a picture of him. The picture that we had were the picture for his passport and one picture while he was sitting down on the floor during our visit to his hometown in Malacca. The last picture is the picture during my Cukur Jambul. He was holding me while a man/woman was cutting a little of my hair as a symbolic for the ceremony. 

Words cant describe how much I miss you Ayah. I wish I have a longer time to be with you. So that you can see me growing up and becoming one of the daughter that you proud of. I want you to play with me, see me laughing when you tickles me, when you tell us your jokes. I want to listen to your voice, how you talk, how your voice sound when you're angry. I want to see your smile, your laugh, your tears, your everything Ayah. I want to feel your love abit more longer Ayah. I want you to be the one that will be my Wali, the one that will be Nikahkan your last daughter. I want you to meet your beautiful grandchildren and play with them. 

Ayah, are you proud be have a daughter like me? Do you love me Ayah? I love you so much. I miss you so much. I cried sometime in the middle of the night, before I go to bed because I miss you. I wish your here Ayah. Happy Father's Day Ayah. I remember you everyday Ayah. You're always in my head and heart. You have a special place in my heart. You're always in my Dua. 

I miss you. 2 years being with you is not enough for me. But Allah love you more. Redha. Love you Ayah.