oh my. what a devastating news I received a couple day ago. One of my classmate in Polytechnic just lost her mum. Not sure the caused of death but still, its a really sad news. On top of it, she lost her mum on her birthday. Yup, its was also her birthday .
After receiving the news via wechat, it really hit me hard. It must be difficult for her. The news brought back all the memories of my late dad. I lost my dad when I was 2. But the memories I had while he's still alive isn't that much, and still, the pain is still there.
But I wonder, she has been living with her mum for 22 years so they shared lots and thousand, trillion uncalculate-able memories together. So, for suddenly losing the best person in the world that always be there for you, loving you unconditionally, accepting, raising you up to be the person you are now, must be really really reaaaaaally saaaaaad... Nasib baik I'm still kat office. kalau tak dh berjurai-jurai air mata ni dok turun sambil menulis.
Sebab aku dok terbayangkan mak aku. Kalau suatu hari nanti, tetiba mak pergi dengan tenang selama-lamanya, tanpa sebarang petanda, mcm manalah aku nanti? Walaupun aku ni jenis degil, slalu sangat buat mak marah and sedih, tp biasalah anak2. Perangai mcm mne buruk pun, dia tetap sayang kita. Walau macam mne dia kata kat kita itu ini, she still treated us with love. Walau mcm mne dia compare kita dengan anak2 org lain, kita still her best child she ever have. Dan dia sanggup buat apa sahaja untuk kita, anything you just name it.
For 22 years, you have been living together. Maybe in some cases not technically together, tp masih jauh dimata, dekat dihati. When life gets tough, she's the first person you look for. She gave you advice, keep you strong, your motivation to live. Tapi bila tiba2 she's gone, you felt like you life is now meaningless. Terasa begitu berat untuk mengharungi kehidupan yg akan datang
You have lost your biggest supporter, inspiration in life once one of your parents died. Tak kesah la either one of them left, you still felt empty. Mungkin kalau salah seorang meninggal, you still half your other half. Tapi kalau kau kehilangan kedua-duanya, I don't know how to explain the feeling. Just thinking about it already sound scary, apatah lagi kalau dah realitinya terjadi.
Memang benar mati itu pasti. But I hope that when it is time for my mum to leave the world, she has seen semua benda tentang aku. Dpt tgk anak2 dia semua berkeluarga. Dapat tgk at least anak2 aku cukup la. And that's my hope.
Love your parent while they're still alive. Kiss them, say that you love them walaupun dalam nada bergurau. Cium mereka walaupun kekadang kau saja nk mengusik anak2 buah kau..
That is what I do to my mum. Walaupun kekadang I was just peluk2, cium2 mak bila nk ngusik anak2 buah aku yg kecik2 tu, tp sebenarnya I was being real. Those kiss and hug are sincerely from me. Sebab my family aren't those kind of family yg bagi mereka, ciuman dan pelukan antara ibu-anak/bapa-anak adalah perkara biasa. It felt mcm krik2 kalau out of the blue kau buat mcm tu. So salah satu caranya, gitulah aku buat.
And my mum doesn't have to do anything to show how much she loves me.
Cause everything that she do for her children, are the proof of her unconditional love for you.
I love you Ma <3
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